Mental Load at Home: 7 Practical Strategies to Reduce It

Why the Mental Load Falls More on One Household Member

According to INSEE studies, women spend an average of 3 hours 26 minutes per day on household tasks compared to 2 hours for men. But beyond time spent, it's especially the coordination burden that is unequally distributed.

Several factors explain this situation:

• Gendered upbringing: From childhood, girls are often more involved in household chores
• The "asking" syndrome: When one must constantly ask the other to do things, that's already a burden in itself
• Different standards: Whoever notices first that something needs doing usually handles it
• Established habits: Once roles are set, changing them requires conscious effort

The good news? With awareness and the right tools, it's possible to rebalance this load.

7 Practical Strategies to Reduce Mental Load

1. Make the Invisible Visible

The crucial first step is to list all tasks, including invisible ones:

• Physical tasks (cleaning, cooking, laundry...)
• Administrative tasks (appointments, paperwork, registrations...)
• Coordination tasks (scheduling, shopping, organizing...)
• Emotional labor (comforting, listening, anticipating needs...)

Do this exercise together. Often, the partner not carrying the mental load is surprised by the extent of invisible work.

2. Use a Task-Sharing Tool

Household task management apps like FairChore allow you to:

• Visualize who does what: Everyone sees tasks in real-time
• Distribute fairly: A points system reflects the real workload
• Make everyone accountable: No more "asking" or reminding
• Measure objectively: Statistics show actual distribution

The advantage of a digital tool: it frees the mind of whoever was carrying the coordination burden alone.

3. Assign Complete Responsibilities

Rather than "delegating tasks," transfer entire responsibilities. For example:

• Instead of: "Can you do a load of laundry?" → Complete responsibility: all family laundry
• Instead of: "Can you stop by the pharmacy?" → Complete responsibility: all health products
• Instead of: "Can you help with dinner?" → Complete responsibility: Wednesday and Sunday meals

This way, the person owns that domain and doesn't wait to be told what to do.

4. Establish Common Standards

Often, conflicts arise from different standards. One partner may consider a task "done" while the other still sees work.

• Define together what "clean kitchen," "folded laundry," etc. means
• Accept that the result may differ from your way of doing things
• Don't redo after them: it discourages and maintains dependency

5. Create a Coordination Ritual

A 10-minute weekly check-in can transform your organization:

• Review the upcoming week
• Identify special events (appointments, guests...)
• Distribute exceptional responsibilities
• Adjust if someone is overloaded

This ritual shares the planning burden and prevents oversights.

6. Involve Children According to Age

Children can and should participate in household tasks. It's educational and distributes the load:

• 3-5 years: Put away toys, put clothes in the hamper
• 6-8 years: Set the table, feed a pet, tidy their room
• 9-12 years: Vacuum, make their bed, help in the kitchen
• Teens: Do their laundry, prepare simple meals, manage their belongings

With an app like FairChore, children see their contributions valued through points, which motivates them.

7. Accept Imperfection and Let Go

Sometimes, reducing mental load means accepting that not everything will be perfect:

• Cleaning can be "good enough" rather than spotless
• A simple meal is still a real meal
• Some tasks can be done less frequently
• Kids can have wrinkled clothes

Questioning your own standards is part of the solution.